The pressure to be perfect – The idealisation syndrome on social media and its impact on mental health

In today’s world, social media is more than just a means of communication. It has become a digital stage where we construct and present our identities. On this stage, everyone strives to appear more successful, more attractive, and happier. As a result, the drive to “be perfect” has shifted from a personal aspiration to a societal expectation. Psychologists term this phenomenon the “idealisation syndrome,” noting that it fundamentally alters both how individuals perceive themselves and how they interact with others. Filtered Instagram photos, “perfect body” standards, and posts showcasing “ideal relationships” lead people to compare their own lives with these curated realities. Consequently, self-esteem declines, and anxiety and depressive symptoms rise, particularly among young women.

The idealisation syndrome is not merely a psychological condition; it is a social construct. It stems from the relentless pressure individuals feel to present themselves as “better” or “more beautiful.” Historically, the desire to create a perfect image is not new: ancient Greek sculptures embodied ideal body proportions, Renaissance paintings depicted harmonious beauty, and 19th-century literature celebrated ideals of heroism and sacrifice. These examples reflect humanity’s long-standing aesthetic and moral pursuits.

What differentiates today’s era, however, is the accessibility of these idealised images. Perfection no longer resides in distant statues or literary heroes. It appears in our everyday lives. Seeing friends, neighbours, or colleagues through a “filtered lens” blurs the line between “real life” and “idealised life.” Images that were once admired from afar now become benchmarks everyone is expected to meet (Marwick, 2015).

Sociologists argue that this shift is closely tied to the “branding of the self.” On social media, individuals manage their personas like small brands: profile pictures, posts, follower counts, and even the number of likes become measures of social value. This aligns with the concept of “performative identity,” where people do not merely live as themselves but continuously perform to display who they are (Goffman, 1959). Within this process, the “filter culture” plays a central role. Filters do more than enhance aesthetics, they reshape social perceptions. By altering the appearance of the body, face, or skin, filters simultaneously modify a person’s social image. Research shows that widespread use of filters and photo-editing apps increases body dissatisfaction among young people, prompting questions such as, “Why don’t I look like this?”

Thus, the idealisation syndrome is both rooted in historical traditions and amplified by the possibilities of the digital age. While ideals of perfection were once rare and distant, they now appear daily, becoming the norm. This exposure places individuals at the centre of pressure, not merely from admiration, but from constant comparison.

The most profound impact of the idealisation syndrome is visible in human psychology. The pressure created by social media always appear attractive, happy, and successful, places individuals in a constant state of comparison. Rarely does this comparison inspire motivation; more often, it erodes self-confidence. Research indicates that observing others’ “ideal” appearances and lifestyles online frequently leads to negative self-evaluation. Psychologist Sarah Coyne notes that, since Instagram largely showcases only the most successful moments of others, users compare their real lives to these “selected fragments,” often resulting in dissatisfaction. The gap between “someone else’s display” and one’s own reality generates significant psychological strain.

In psychology, this phenomenon is explained through the “social comparison theory” (Festinger, 1954). Humans are naturally inclined to compare themselves to others, but social media intensifies this tendency. What appears on screens is often a curated reality, shaped by filters and selective snapshots. Consequently, users can develop a pervasive sense that “everyone else is living better than me,” a feeling that often accompanies anxiety and even sleep disturbances.

The desire to appear perfect gradually transforms into a compulsion. Individuals feel compelled to constantly modify themselves to appear “sufficient” in the eyes of others. Psychologist Thomas Curran describes this as “socially prescribed perfectionism,” where success is measured not only by personal goals but also by the pressure to meet others’ expectations. This manifests in “overperformance” behaviours across academic, professional, and personal spheres.

Studies reveal a strong correlation between social media use and depressive symptoms. Young people, especially girls, who spend more time on social platforms, increasingly report dissatisfaction with their bodies and lives, leading to heightened feelings of worthlessness. This can also produce an “emotional burnout” effect: the individual strives to appear strong externally, while internally feeling exhausted and hollow.

Another psychological consequence of the pressure to be ideal is social anxiety. With every post, individuals ask themselves, “How do I look?”, “Will my friends like this?”, or “What if I don’t get enough likes?” Even the simplest moments of life become performances in front of an imagined audience. Here, Erving Goffman’s metaphor of “life as a stage” (Goffman, 1959) becomes particularly salient.

Idealisation syndrome does not merely generate inner anxiety; it reshapes social interactions. The “perfect” images proliferating across social media create new collective norms, influencing decisions as mundane as daily choices and extending to broader societal structures, including gender roles.

Sociologists emphasise that the pressure to appear perfect on social media is disproportionately concentrated on women (Gill & Orgad, 2018). Women are expected to be attractive, professionally successful, and simultaneously ideal mothers and partners. In feminist theory, this amplifies what is known as the “double burden”: women feel compelled to perform not only in the workplace but also within the family. Social media intensifies these expectations visually, often portraying female figures as embodiments of both physical allure and social achievement.

Previously, love, friendship, and family relationships carried deeply personal meaning. Today, however, these relationships have become part of a public spectacle. “Ideal couples,” “romantic gestures,” and “happy family moments” are shared online, transforming private life into content for others to observe. This creates additional pressure within real relationships, as partners feel obliged to create moments deemed “share-worthy.”

The pursuit of perfect appearance and lifestyle also underpins substantial economic sectors. The fashion, cosmetics, diet, and fitness industries generate billions of dollars, frequently promoted through “ideal” social media images. Often, these portrayals are coupled with consumer products, subtly encouraging continual consumption under the guise of “self-improvement.” In this way, the idealisation syndrome functions not only as a psychological and social phenomenon but also as a driver of economic systems.

Within society, the sense of shared experience and solidarity gradually weakens. Individuals increasingly focus on their personal image and prioritise how they are perceived by others. This reinforces a form of “competitive individualism,” where social relationships are less about mutual support and more about the ongoing contest of “whose life is more perfect?”

Traditionally, societal norms developed over long periods and remained relatively stable. Social media, however, accelerates the emergence of “new norms.” One era celebrates the “slim body,” another glorifies the “athletic physique” or “dramatic makeup” trends. This constant shift keeps individuals in a perpetual state of adaptation. Psychologists describe this phenomenon as the “liquefaction of norms,” noting that such relentless pressure is a key source of social fatigue.

While the pressures of idealisation syndrome may seem inescapable, they can be mitigated both individually and collectively. Central to this is how individuals engage with and approach social media. Psychologists recommend setting defined limits on usage to protect mental health. The concept of a “digital detox” involves brief breaks from social media, allowing attention to refocus on real-life experiences. Research suggests that even a one-week hiatus from social platforms can significantly enhance wellbeing. Such strategies represent some of the simplest and most practical steps to reduce the impact of the pressures of perfection.

In recent years, various international campaigns such as Dove’s “Real Beauty” initiative and the #BodyPositivity movement have offered alternative representations to the traditional ideals portrayed on social media. By highlighting diverse body types, age groups, and life experiences, these campaigns convey the message that “authentic appearances are valuable too.” Such initiatives challenge the conventional framework of idealisation syndrome and reinforce a culture of acceptance.

Media literacy and critical thinking are essential for young people to avoid uncritically internalising social media content. Incorporating “digital literacy” and “media analysis” into educational curricula plays a vital role in this regard. Understanding that the images seen online are often artificially constructed reduces the pressure to compare oneself to unrealistic standards. Psychologists emphasise that the ability to think critically is among the strongest protective factors against the psychological effects of idealisation syndrome.

Individual efforts alone are sometimes insufficient. Collective support is equally important: recognising and celebrating “real appearances” within friend groups and families, or sharing unfiltered photos online, can help alleviate social pressures. Research indicates that a supportive social environment strengthens self-perception and enhances psychological stability.

Social media is not limited to negative impacts; it is also a powerful platform for learning, self-expression, and creativity. Through music, art, popular science, and social campaigns, users can cultivate their potential. The key is purposeful engagement: when social media is used not merely for “self-presentation” but also for “self-development,” its benefits can outweigh the harmful aspects of idealisation syndrome.

The desire to “be perfect” has always existed throughout human history, but the fast-paced, filtered reality of social media has transformed this aspiration into psychological pressure. Idealisation syndrome has shifted from a personal choice to a collective expectation: to appear beautiful, successful, and happy seems like an imposed obligation on everyone.

Psychologically, this syndrome diminishes self-esteem, heightens anxiety, and increases depressive symptoms. Socially, it turns relationships into performances and life into a competition. Moreover, the “culture of perfection” sustains large economic systems, serving not only individual but also market interests. Yet, it is crucial to remember that the pressure to be perfect is not immutable. It can be mitigated through balanced social media use, strengthening critical thinking, promoting real-life campaigns, and fostering collective support. Most importantly, an individual’s value does not reside in likes or filtered photos but in authentic experiences, vulnerabilities, and originality.

As sociologist Zygmunt Bauman observed, “Modern life is liquid: it is not fixed, it constantly changes.” In this fluidity, the only protective value is the honest acceptance of oneself. While social media may sometimes immerse us in the shadows of idealised images, it also offers opportunities to share one’s true self. Ultimately, being perfect is not necessary, being enough is. Life becomes genuine, relationships sincere, and the self grounded in this sufficiency. True happiness lies not in appearing perfect to others but in feeling valuable in one’s own eyes.

Nigar Shahverdiyeva