Fifi Geldof, tragic Peaches’ older sister, has revealed her own battles with alcohol and depression in her first-ever interview.
The eldest of Bob Geldof’s daughters, 31-year-old Fifi Trixibelle has always shunned the limelight and is rarely photographed.
Now almost five months after losing her sister to a heroin overdose – the same tragedy which took her mother Paula Yates’ life 14 years ago – she has spoken out about her lifelong struggle with clinical depression.
Speaking to the Mail on Sunday, she said it began when she was 11, following her parents’ bitter divorce.
‘I woke up crying about everything and nothing. I remember thinking what the f*** is going on in my head. I thought I was going crazy.’
‘It wasn’t a slow and gentle descent into depression. Something totally switches in your mind. I’m still trying to work out what’s wrong with me now.’
When her mother died in September 2000, Fifi turned to alcohol, dabbled in drugs and reached a dress size 20 through comfort eating.
"I was a silly, hurt, stupid, reckless teenager,’ she said.
Despite the loss of her ‘baby sister’ this year, Fifi said the depression was now manageable.
‘Peaches’s death is like a piece of me that has been taken. A piece of my heart and my soul has gone,’ she added. Newly-engaged, with a beloved dog and career in PR, Fifi is determined to help others cope with the illness.
Robin Williams’ suicide last month persuaded her to talk openly on the subject.
She said: ‘Depression is nothing to be ashamed of, it affects an awful amount of people and yet there is still this ugly, shaming, misunderstood stigma around it. With depression you can have everything in the world and nothing. It affects people of all walks of life.
‘When it takes hold for a couple of days it wipes you out. There have been occasions where I have been unable to get out of bed, unable to shower and to eat. You exist in this gloomy shell of a person. But you learn how to deal with it.’